![]() I know the burden that this causes, and we send our deepest apologies.Ĭongratulations to one of the most special couples we know. I cannot begin to tell you how truly sorry we are not only that we are not able to attend, but also for the fact that we are canceling at the last minute. My grandmother is in the hospital, forcing us to have to miss your big day. I am regretfully reaching out to let you know that we need to change our RSVP to your wedding. Most importantly: end on a high note by congratulating the couple on their impending nuptials. “If not, a genuine, well-thought-out text message will suffice.” “If this is a really close friend or family member, a phone call would be best no matter how soon it is before the wedding,” advises etiquette expert Mariah Grumet. If it’s four weeks or less until their big day, it’s safe to assume they’ll be too busy finalizing wedding plans to answer a phone call, but certain relationships warrant one no matter what. The way in which you break the news will depend on both your relationship with the couple as well as how close it is to the big day. Otherwise, they may think the change in headcount is a mistake, or miss it entirely. ![]() If the couple is collecting RSVPs via their wedding website, you’ll want to electronically update your attendance there as well, but only do so after you’ve personally communicated with the couple. For efficiency's sake, Bryant suggests reaching out to this person first-“if they respond, no need to bother the couple,” she notes-but your relationship with the couple might determine otherwise (see Number 2). If someone other than the couple is collecting RSVPs, you’ll want to ensure they’re made aware of the change in your attendance as soon as possible. Related: How to Handle Last-Minute Wedding Vendor Cancellations 1. Mariah Grumet is the founder of Old Soul Etiquette. Robyne Bryant is the Principal Designer for Southern Affairs Weddings & Events. If you can’t attend a wedding at the last minute, consider this your expert-approved guide to alerting the marrying couple with kindness, consideration, and grace. While it is important to honor your RSVP for both financial and personal reasons, emergencies do happen. Also: Every six to ten guests is another table needed, so if six to ten people cancel in the last two weeks, that could be $1,800 the couple could have saved.” “There’s also the bar fee and the cost for your entire place setting. Plans change-we get it! And though it may seem like being a no-show at a large event such as a wedding might not be such a big deal, that’s actually not the case. “It’s more than just the price of a meal,” explains event planner Robyne Bryant.
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